Monday, December 26, 2011

Occupy what? Why?





So I just finished 3 shells of kava... If this goes off a little I'm just a bit excited in that relaxed sort of way. That's not the only reason. I've also had one of the best holiday seasons in a very long time. For some time now, I've had mixed feelings about the "holiday" season. Its just always felt a little off. Too much about Santa... well Santa isn't the evil one (unless you get that creepy one in the Christmas Story). Its the over consumption that Santa and even Jesus represents. The spirit, that maybe I've never truly experienced, is what I have missed or yearned for. There is suppose to be a magical sense of expectation of something, but not so much what people purchase for you, but a sharing of something warmer and more familiar.

This year I experienced that. It started with Thanksgiving.... simple food that everyone was excited to share. Then I had a quiet Solstice celebration with lots of wonderful candles and just a few people who I got to tell how much I appreciate the warmth and light they add to my life (and I awoke to do a sunrise fire... a first of many, I hope).

Then came Christmas. A holiday I struggle with every year. My safe and usual way of moving through this day is to stay home and eat lasagna, drink a lot of beer or wine, and watch a ton of movies. Maybe take a super hot and long bath. This year it took a twist. Some people I have been growing bonds of deeper friendships; people that are helping me grow into Kim, love Christmas. To watch the joy on someones face who truly loves something is irresistible. And I got to see this about Christmas, and there weren't little kids running around us playing with new toys. So what happened?

We had a slumber party Christmas Eve night with some gift exchange (I'll explain the magic of this soon). There were snacks and beverages and games and movies (Christmas ones naturally). People gradually found  a comfy place to sleep. Then slowly we awoke to make breakfast. We heated up some sweet rolls from Dovetail, made fresh orange juice (my favorite blend of navel and blood oranges), coffee, tea, vit min greens, steamed greens, roasted roots roasted potatoes, home made vegan sausage, fresh fruit, vegan french toast... that maybe it... so good... oh and home made soy milk and fresh hot hot sauce! SO GOOD! Then we did another gift exchange.

All the gifts had to be things that you were planning to re-gift already, or be something inexpensive and "creative". There was so much fun stuff. No one really even tried to "steal/trade". It was like it was a gift from a stranger that knew just what kind of random thing found on their bookshelf and knew, just knew, it was exactly what you had been searching forr. It was so relaxed. So peaceful. It was the joy of opening a package with no expectation of what would be inside... just the joy of sharing. So.... familiar somehow.

When I finally tore myself away from the wonderful environment, I had the most amazing daytime bike ride I may have ever had. The streets were nearly empty of cars! I took whole lanes. I ran stop signs. Hell, I ran stop lights. I went  slow. I weaved all over the place just for the fun of it. The city was closed up, except for the 2 east side co-ops. Its left me thinking.... progress and the sloughing of some traditions (even if they are based in christian or Jewish traditions) might be alright to have around.

What ever could I mean? In Kansas, and states in that never ending belt of religious zealousness (read southern Baptists). Growing up I thought these "Blue Laws" were stupid. I only got a couple days out of school and work and I should be able to get what I want when I want them. In retrospect, I really miss things being closed. I believe that shortly after our town (maybe the whole state did it at once), we stopped having dinner every Sunday at the Grandparents house. We'd go to the diner. Then I started working at a fast-food joint (yes there is irony here). There is something special about the City being shut down for a day (except for the service industry... mostly having to do with health care), and being forced to deal with what you have for a day. Entertain yourself. Feed yourself. Care for yourself.... and you friends, family, strangers on the street.

Yes, I am saying here and now.... I long for the return of all those forms of consumption being shut down for a day.... every week. Profits will be just fine. People will be alright.... potentially thrive even!

What's this got to do with Occupy?

Lots actually. I live in a city that prides itself on the DIY culture that came out of the punk movement. The whole "fuck it, I'll make it myself" attitude that includes "I'm sure as hell not buying it from those corporate bastards". I live in a part of the city where I don't have to go to Starbucks for a mug of coffee. I don't have to go to Whole Foods for organic veggies. We even have a local fast-food joint, Burgerville. Its actually vegan friendlyish, and their to-go material aren't too bad... for real compostable even, I think, I haven't been there in like 2 years.

What has actually got me on this rant is reading Murry Bookchin. Specifically His book The Ecology Of Freedom. It takes us deep into the theories and how to practice social ecology. This mixed with reading Dharma Punx books, Thich Nhaht Hahn, and Always Coming home by Ursala La Guin; I've been thinking about how I play in this world, and what the hell am I doing here in it.

I'm also moving into the last month of this project and wondering "what next". People ask me what I have learned from this spontaneous challenge. Add to this the Occupy Movement, and I have one dosey of a mind bender. I have been trying to figure out how I want to participate in the Occupy Movement. I totally support it and love that it is happening, but I don't know how I want to be involved. Working in the coop, a model of the alternative. I have used credit unions for a very long time, I feel that nurturing these community cornerstones is more essential than ME taking to the campsites.

I've learned a great deal, but we'll save that until next month.

What I would like to consider is not so much how I am going to Occupy Portland, or close the Ports, or go Occupy Wall Street, or Congress. All very super important endeavors, but how to I/ You Occupy our lives. Our daily actions. Is a spontaneous action on my part going to be buying some random object, or pick up the guitar and make up a song, or call a friend to come have a cup of tea or go for a walk, or write a letter to an old/new friend?

Do you know the power dynamics of the things you use everyday? Your food, cloths, transportation? Can you learn more?

In the zine book Making Stuff & Doing Things, there is a page about the differences in Reflex, Reaction, and Action. Reflex is like the basic reflex of getting pissed when someone challenges your core beliefs that you are not ready to question, self-defence (mental or physical). ReAction is tossing bricks. It's riots in the streets, fighting back, picketing, striking.... Its saying "NO!" Action is "growing vegetables, squatting or building houses, occupying factories, and making clothing. Action is saying"yes" to community needs." Are we going to give a list of demands, or are we going to tell "them" what we are going to do (and then go do them)?

These are the things I am thinking as I enter the final month of this adventure. It will continue in a different form as I decide how the heck I am going to Occupy my life. What do you want to occupy?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

And I Do Give Thanks

Ever wonder why some of the busiest days at queer bars are over the holidays? Wonder why your vegan or veg friend dreads coming "home" for the holiday season?

Imagine the person you love feeling so out of place and awkward that you just want to whisk them to comfort as quick as possible, or never getting to meet the folks because they run away as soon as they know you are in the house.

Imagine looking at the dinner table that the people you have known all your life are awaiting with growling stomachs and drooling mouths, but all you see is suffering.

Now, imagine coming home for the holidays as a queer vegan. All you want is to share your warm and loving family with the person you have found love and refuge, in a world full of.... well you know what the world is full of, so you agree to go separate ways for this one... It is tough.

And many times, that time equals all the "vacation" time you can afford to travel 1700 miles each way, so... that is your relaxation time for the year... anxiety ridden as it is. Still wonder why people don't go "home" for the holidays?

I've chosen not to go home for the "holidays" for quite some time now. I love my family with all my heart. They are kind people... who love to eat animals, shop, watch sports (they even know all the commercials for items I didn't even know where for sale), and I am the only one who is out as queer. I tried for awhile because it meant so much to my my mom, my niece and nephews; but its so difficult. The over-consumption is just, well, too much.



pre "bring it out"

I usually stay where I have created a home and have an "orphans" dinner. It is always fun, but this year, it was AMAZING!

getting closer



hey! who already got a piece of cornbread?!


Not only did I have 3 Thanksgivings, but 2 of them were vegan and 1 was package free. (excuse me but) FUCK YEAH! See! Even a feast can be package free. Ok so there was a bottle of wine, and some whiskey, but there was also Captured by Porches... and all that is just beverages anyway.

The Thanksgiving Day dinner that was package free is what I am going to talk about here. There were 6 of us at Brian and Mary's place, and we all prepared a feast. There was Brian's Bloaf 2.0, stuffing, green beans, brussel sprouts, cranberry salad, greens, enemy salad, dinner rolls, gluten-free corn bread, gravy, sweet potato brown sugar goodness, mash potatoes (I know I am missing things, but can't think of it all now).... the table was full. We even had appetizers with a sweet potato and tahini dip... and then we had dessert: apple quince pie, and pumpkin pie (for real the pumpkin pie was package free... no silken tofu and freaking rock-star good with cashew whip cream on top! f@#$ yeah!)

It was a day full of laughter, kindness, and good digestion. Even as I cooked in at my house, I was greeted by housemates coming (to change after one heck of a muddy family soccer game) and going to get junk food for a quiet day alone in the house, or off to other family and friends. All the while noticing the shifting scents in the house from simmering quince (my first time) to baking sweet taters and steaming greens.... music playing and me dancing with my veggies.... and in honor of Grandma, I never left my soft clothes.

Once we resigned ourselves to NO MORE! We brought out the big weapons of mass relaxation. We carried the futon up from the basement and created the movie moment of the night. We watched Bridesmaid with full stomachs, a fire, and a futon/sofa pit-group! Brian was quite the trooper with 5 women kicked back ready to laugh.

Popcorn popped, toddies or tea made, puppies settled in, we watched one of the funniest movies I've seen in a very long time. Come on! Women with poop and and sex jokes! It was Brilliant.




go Brian!



Look at that steam!



Not sure what happened, but DAMN! that was good!




We then ate dessert and settled in for another movie... Note: no football. No stories of shopping heroics. No one getting up to go camp out in front of some fucking store for great deals. Some thoughts of Buy Nothing Day and Fur Free Friday. But fuck it. We are living the Occupy movement. Most all of our food came either from the co-op or the Farmer's Market.  I stirred my sugar and molasses together to make by brown sugar to go on top of the local sweet potatoes (I know sugar sucks, but... I'm getting there). Oh and while dinner was finishing up the browning of the Bloaf and stuffing, the Record Player was spinning the likes of Pancake Breakfast and some jazz that I just kicked back and enjoyed the snaps and crackles... and we played a game of some kind... oh Taboo I think.

Humm, I had a point.

oh yeah... pie and cashew cream!



When you live outside the "mainstream world" you may still long for the warm fuzzy moments in life. You still want the safe and secure moments where you look at a table full of food and see the gifts spilled out before you with the cornucopia of feelings that everyone you love, feels loved and secure in a season full of strife and challenges.

Why do we have so many celebrations as we enter the coldest, harshest seasons of the year? To remind us that we have so much. We have the warmth, kindness, and love of our friends and family. We have people around us that work hard to make sure that we get good wholesome food on our tables to feed us in our work. We have people willing to stand up in the face of injustice to say "No!"

And we have people willing to say "I will not eat animals"

People who say "I love you".

So here is what I suggest. Stay HOME for the holidays (however you celebrate and with whom you celebrate), and go "home" on less stressful times when you can actually spend quality time with each one. Go swing with the kids in the park. Go for a walk with your aunts and uncles. Chat your grandparents up while everyone else is off talking about the latest bud-light commercial that you will never see. And then.... serve them all your latest concoction of goodness. They don't have to know you rode your bike 20 miles to get it and spent several hours fermenting it to just the right.... well there are just some things family doesn't need to know...

After it was all complete, and I followed my friend out for a ride home, I decided I'd walk home. It was such a fantastic walk. I may have actually hummed to myself as I gazed at the moon. The cool crisp air was refreshing after such a warm comforting day. I slept well dreaming of the season to come.... rumor has it there will be a slumber-christmas party.

And here I give gratitude for finding a community where I feel supported, and for a family that does not make me feel guilty for the choices I am making in my life, and though they may not understand them, they respect me for pursuing a life that feeds me and allows me the space and energy to give back.

Thanks everyone. With 6 weeks or so to go, I'm already thinking "what is next"!