So I just finished 3 shells of kava... If this goes off a little I'm just a bit excited in that relaxed sort of way. That's not the only reason. I've also had one of the best holiday seasons in a very long time. For some time now, I've had mixed feelings about the "holiday" season. Its just always felt a little off. Too much about Santa... well Santa isn't the evil one (unless you get that creepy one in the Christmas Story). Its the over consumption that Santa and even Jesus represents. The spirit, that maybe I've never truly experienced, is what I have missed or yearned for. There is suppose to be a magical sense of expectation of something, but not so much what people purchase for you, but a sharing of something warmer and more familiar.
This year I experienced that. It started with Thanksgiving.... simple food that everyone was excited to share. Then I had a quiet Solstice celebration with lots of wonderful candles and just a few people who I got to tell how much I appreciate the warmth and light they add to my life (and I awoke to do a sunrise fire... a first of many, I hope).
Then came Christmas. A holiday I struggle with every year. My safe and usual way of moving through this day is to stay home and eat lasagna, drink a lot of beer or wine, and watch a ton of movies. Maybe take a super hot and long bath. This year it took a twist. Some people I have been growing bonds of deeper friendships; people that are helping me grow into Kim, love Christmas. To watch the joy on someones face who truly loves something is irresistible. And I got to see this about Christmas, and there weren't little kids running around us playing with new toys. So what happened?
We had a slumber party Christmas Eve night with some gift exchange (I'll explain the magic of this soon). There were snacks and beverages and games and movies (Christmas ones naturally). People gradually found a comfy place to sleep. Then slowly we awoke to make breakfast. We heated up some sweet rolls from Dovetail, made fresh orange juice (my favorite blend of navel and blood oranges), coffee, tea, vit min greens, steamed greens, roasted roots roasted potatoes, home made vegan sausage, fresh fruit, vegan french toast... that maybe it... so good... oh and home made soy milk and fresh hot hot sauce! SO GOOD! Then we did another gift exchange.
All the gifts had to be things that you were planning to re-gift already, or be something inexpensive and "creative". There was so much fun stuff. No one really even tried to "steal/trade". It was like it was a gift from a stranger that knew just what kind of random thing found on their bookshelf and knew, just knew, it was exactly what you had been searching forr. It was so relaxed. So peaceful. It was the joy of opening a package with no expectation of what would be inside... just the joy of sharing. So.... familiar somehow.
When I finally tore myself away from the wonderful environment, I had the most amazing daytime bike ride I may have ever had. The streets were nearly empty of cars! I took whole lanes. I ran stop signs. Hell, I ran stop lights. I went slow. I weaved all over the place just for the fun of it. The city was closed up, except for the 2 east side co-ops. Its left me thinking.... progress and the sloughing of some traditions (even if they are based in christian or Jewish traditions) might be alright to have around.
What ever could I mean? In Kansas, and states in that never ending belt of religious zealousness (read southern Baptists). Growing up I thought these "Blue Laws" were stupid. I only got a couple days out of school and work and I should be able to get what I want when I want them. In retrospect, I really miss things being closed. I believe that shortly after our town (maybe the whole state did it at once), we stopped having dinner every Sunday at the Grandparents house. We'd go to the diner. Then I started working at a fast-food joint (yes there is irony here). There is something special about the City being shut down for a day (except for the service industry... mostly having to do with health care), and being forced to deal with what you have for a day. Entertain yourself. Feed yourself. Care for yourself.... and you friends, family, strangers on the street.
Yes, I am saying here and now.... I long for the return of all those forms of consumption being shut down for a day.... every week. Profits will be just fine. People will be alright.... potentially thrive even!
What's this got to do with Occupy?
Lots actually. I live in a city that prides itself on the DIY culture that came out of the punk movement. The whole "fuck it, I'll make it myself" attitude that includes "I'm sure as hell not buying it from those corporate bastards". I live in a part of the city where I don't have to go to Starbucks for a mug of coffee. I don't have to go to Whole Foods for organic veggies. We even have a local fast-food joint, Burgerville. Its actually vegan friendlyish, and their to-go material aren't too bad... for real compostable even, I think, I haven't been there in like 2 years.
What has actually got me on this rant is reading Murry Bookchin. Specifically His book The Ecology Of Freedom. It takes us deep into the theories and how to practice social ecology. This mixed with reading Dharma Punx books, Thich Nhaht Hahn, and Always Coming home by Ursala La Guin; I've been thinking about how I play in this world, and what the hell am I doing here in it.
I'm also moving into the last month of this project and wondering "what next". People ask me what I have learned from this spontaneous challenge. Add to this the Occupy Movement, and I have one dosey of a mind bender. I have been trying to figure out how I want to participate in the Occupy Movement. I totally support it and love that it is happening, but I don't know how I want to be involved. Working in the coop, a model of the alternative. I have used credit unions for a very long time, I feel that nurturing these community cornerstones is more essential than ME taking to the campsites.
I've learned a great deal, but we'll save that until next month.
What I would like to consider is not so much how I am going to Occupy Portland, or close the Ports, or go Occupy Wall Street, or Congress. All very super important endeavors, but how to I/ You Occupy our lives. Our daily actions. Is a spontaneous action on my part going to be buying some random object, or pick up the guitar and make up a song, or call a friend to come have a cup of tea or go for a walk, or write a letter to an old/new friend?
Do you know the power dynamics of the things you use everyday? Your food, cloths, transportation? Can you learn more?
In the zine book Making Stuff & Doing Things, there is a page about the differences in Reflex, Reaction, and Action. Reflex is like the basic reflex of getting pissed when someone challenges your core beliefs that you are not ready to question, self-defence (mental or physical). ReAction is tossing bricks. It's riots in the streets, fighting back, picketing, striking.... Its saying "NO!" Action is "growing vegetables, squatting or building houses, occupying factories, and making clothing. Action is saying"yes" to community needs." Are we going to give a list of demands, or are we going to tell "them" what we are going to do (and then go do them)?
These are the things I am thinking as I enter the final month of this adventure. It will continue in a different form as I decide how the heck I am going to Occupy my life. What do you want to occupy?
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