the un-packaged vegan: Just Hanging Out

When I was planning the alt-adventure, all I really knew was that I was heading to the Sierras and some hot springs that I had randomly been told about. As I was meeting both of those "goals", now what?

I was finally in the middle of no where, and I was finally alone. It was here that I would finally find 3 days of not talking to anyone but myself. There were a couple of times that I would hear people come near, and I was in a camping spot that could have allowed for others to stop, but no one did. Close one night. It was late, and I heard 2 guys talking, their headlamps scanned the area, but when they saw my tent they said someone was here and they should move on. That was it.

So what did I do here? I really did meditate 3 times a day. I adventured off trail where I apologized to snakes I had disturbed. I soaked in hot and cold springs. Mostly, I sat on boulders and watched amazing clouds move around.... and some of the bluest skies filled my sights. There were days I thought my chest would burst from the beauty of the peacefulness that I had found myself in.

I laid out some ideas of what I wanted to return to Portland with. Where I wanted to go when I left this little spot. Mostly I just cleared my mind, and my heart. It is funny what comes in when you clear out parts of yourself.

My grandpa's death the previous year was still really sitting with me (and still does, thankfully), and I was wondering what to do with it. There is this notion in the white capitalist culture of what to do with death, but if one sees death and life as something you can't separate....

So we had some chats... several chats with folks who's spirits I feel as continues companions. It is in these environments that I feel I can truly open up to them and we can all expand and take up some space... so we did.... so I did. And I allowed myself to be comforted there. I would like to mention the sage that is in this valley. I have had some sweats with an amazing person who would bring this high altitude sage to ceremony, and here I found it again. Each time I brushed up against it, a flood of feelings would wash over me and I would slow down to take things in even deeper. That sage is so strong and so soft....

One of my favorite things about the solitary nature of this spot, was soaking and then laying out on a big rock face naked to dry off and warm up. Then returning myself to an upright position and meditation for a spell...

After a few days of this, I packed up for the long hike back to Red's. I wasn't ready to leave, not by a long way. But it was more that I was ready to start. Also, I needed to be back to catch the shuttle around to Tuolumne Meadows. The fires still had roads closed, and it was now almost Labor day, the day many things start to close down.

I was prepared for a seriously difficult hike out. It was going to be all uphill, out of the valley. And there was just not that much water once I left here. So I filled myself and all my water bottles with every beverage I could imagine, and headed out.

But everything happened so fast! A couple hours ahead of what I expected, I started to run into hikers from Rainbow Falls going in the wrong direction. It wasn't much longer that I had a train of folks following me out of the burned up forest and into Red's. I did feel a little smug as I landed, grabbed a beer and bag a chips, and watched them wonder up to catch their shuttle back to Mammoth.

I did cheat and get a cabin to myself. Sat on the porch and watched the sunset. I was worn out. I had pushed myself hard and was feeling so amazed at what I was able to do! Not that I didn't have limits to my ability, but that I had a new level of confidence. I was no longer so nervous crossing a stream on a fallen log with a pack on my back; I was cautious, but not so afraid. I was bounding over obstacles, not like a 19 year old, but also not like, well others my age. I had sharpened old skills and cultivated new ones. So when at breakfast in the grill the next day, I was not surprised when the woman who worked there and myself both turned at the same time to see the shifting shadows and new that fall had arrived in the woods.