Where are the Edges?

Before I get started, I have to say the coffee I'm drinking at Open Spaces today might be the best name for coffee I've ever seen its Squirrel Rhapsody by the local roasters Marigold Coffee. Oh and its tasty too!

watch this video to get an idea of what this post might be about

Well, its almost been a month since I wrapped up the challenge in a not so nice and neat little package, and I am finding that the challenge has finally begun. It was so easy, actually, when I had these semi-clear guidelines, but now that it is really integrated into my life, my choice are so much more thoughtful.

Let's be clear... I've dabbled in some packaged foods. I had a pint of Peanut butter ZigZag (maybe my all time fav of vegan ice cream). It was fantastic. I savoured every creamy, chunky chocolate, frozen peanut butter bite! I've had samples at work that include chips and packaged salsa. I had a bottle of Sessions (that one was disappointing, but it did hit the spot as I was heading into the downside of a very very long shift). Then there is wine. Red wine to be exact. I did not realize how much I was going to miss this until I finally had a glass of Pacific Redwood Pinot. What a nice wine.

Then a group of us went to Seattle for our friend Sage's birthday. I had just finished a bout with food poisoning of some bizzarro nature, so I didn't drink too much. But we did get some 360 vodka, some gin, and there was some really great tonic called Q Tonic. I juiced some very very large Mellon Gold Grapefruits and played bartender.

The next day, we walked up to the Sidecar For Pigs Peace. Its a store for Pigs Peace Sanctuary. Its a place I like to support, but just have such a hard time. Like most all vegan stores (like there are so many), it is just packed full with packaged foods. Last time I picked up a t-shirt, but I really didn't need another shirt, or book (just purchased 3 more from Left-Bank Books the day before), so I picked up a little bottle of wine form the Naked Winery. It was a tasty treat as well.

That's pretty much it... I have purchased a bottle of Dijon mustard and vegan worshester sauce for a vegan Cesar Dressing mix so that my housemate, that is allergic to nuts, could actually eat this salad at a dinner party he was throwing for his son.

What has been brought to my full and upright attention, is fucking GMO.... and yes that is the appropriate f-word for them. Being back into the frey of possibly eating packaged food, I am reminded of the ambiguity of what is in our food. For a year I was focused on what my food is IN because I am really concerned about what is IN my food. The more I learn about what other countries are doing to try and keep GMOs from their food supply, the more angry I get at... at what and whom is more confusing.

I start with Monsanto... the evil fucking empire of the genetic seed world. Then I move to our government that has allowed them to run amok with, not just "our" food supply, but the supply of the world. Then I get mad at the farmers who caved to them and their seed deals (this only lasts for a split second as I remember my youth and what the farmers were facing at the time), then back to Monsanto. At some point to moves to the Marking teams that sold the US on the idea that this would create abundance for a starving planet (remember the famine in Ethiopia in the 80s). Then I get pissed at the American consumer who wanted cheap food and did not question the tasteless tomato in January. Who didn't question why, if this new super wheat was suppose to feed the world, we let it rot in the silos. Or why so much of the grains being grown wasn't for human consumption, but to feed animals (poorly) that could have fed many more people if that grain was grown for consumption by people.

Last week, my lovely farming housemates talked me into going to the monthly event called InFARMation. Its put on by Friends of Family Farms. The conversation was focused on GMOs and featured 2 farmers and the person who wrote the book Food Fray. I learned a great deal about what local farmers are facing, and I plan to write more on the gravity of GMOs especially in the Willamette Valley, but right now I want to talk about consumer responsibility (psst it is democracy in action).

I learned that one of the key things keeping the Wheat in Oregon and Washington, if not organic at least not GMO, is that Japan is one of biggest buyers (i.e. they spend the most money) of  our wheat and they do not, or have not allowed GMOs into their country that is a little island. This is changing however, because they are now allowing GMO papaya this year, and so there is fear that this could lead to them allowing further GMOs in. And in the wake of their really bad year last year with a tsunami and nuclear meltdown...

So I'm not angry with Japan for opening up to GMO, (sad but not angry), I'm pissed to no end that it is other countries' money that is keeping our wheat organic and not us! Size wise we are a very massive county, and we can not save our own food supply! Why are we so complacent? This is what makes me so....MAD that I can't even think of a word, curse or otherwise, that describes my level of anger that is so high it makes me soooo sad. Is there a word for that emotion? Anger so large that creates sadness? Or is it sadness mixed with hopeless despair that I creates an anger so deep?....

Well of that I don't know, but I might have found some answers in what I've been reading and listening to these days. First, a podcast/radio show called ON Being. I think I mentioned it before. And because of it I've been reading Beauty by John O'Donohue. And I believe that beauty may be our greatest "weapon" against despair, violence, glamour, and meritocracy. But even more so was an interview of Tim DeChristopher in Orion magazine.

At the beginning of the interview they talk about something Breyten Breytenbach who said, " You Americans, you've mastered the art of living with the unacceptable." And I believe it is true. We, as Americans have spent decades accepting what is unacceptable by most sane people that are interested in long term survival of ALL. Not short term gratification that brings us a very false sense of security. When Breyten (who spent time in prison in South Africa while fighting the apartheid) was asked what to do, he responded with, "Support people on the margins."

Tim's story essentially supports this (Tim's and all the other political prisoners in this country that have wrestled up the courage to fight the corporate power structure that is our government to free the animals, wilderness, and people that are oppressed by capitalism). The one very clear thing I remember learning in the Permaculture course I took was that change happens on the edges, on the margins, where things are bluring together. The forest doesn't just suddenly become meadow. You don't take one small step out of the tall grass prairie and suddenly stumble onto the desert.

We need to know what we stand for, not what we stand against. Then we need to find the very edge, not the center of compromise, and push in. We need to make people a little uncomfortable. Not the kind of uncomfortable that makes them shut down, but the kind that makes them think, feel, and act.

Can we get people to see past the glamour and shininess of the media machines to see the beauty of simple? That maybe a walk with friends and family just might be much more beautiful than watching TV on a big screen with surround sound speakers.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having nice things, but I am saying that it is difficult to see the mountains, sunset, birds, clouds, when we are vegged out. That I have never made any changes in my life while I was comfortably seated on the throne of complacency and entitled privilege.

What do you care about? What will makes you want to take action? Nothing will change as long as we are complacent... tolerant.... passive.... everyday acts are important and just as vital as direct action in the streets. I do understand the personal dangers of going against the stream. The looks that "friends" give when you do something  counter to the status quo. Those risks are the first steps to facing down the powers of Monsanto, Nestle, Fox, political parties that like to keep us divided, the marking teams that tell us we will be sexy if we use their products. I've got some news for you... Sexy is knowing who you are and what you stand FOR.

And That's A Wrap Folks

laughing into the sunset with friends at The Bye and Bye

As of January 28th, the one year experiment is over. I managed to turn 44 and complete a whole year of not eating packaged food or beverages (except for a 4 day timeout during a difficult trip to the mid-west).

I/we celebrated on the 29th with a brunch at the house. I wanted to have actually completed the full round before celebrating. Brunch was good. I finally managed to make some "field roast" sausages, and to my surprise they were damn good and easy to make! If you want to make your own check out the recipe on Post Punk Kitchen. There is also a link to an amazing amount of varieties. I really want to make a super spicy batch for some Italian dinner night to come soon.

There was also an amazing amount of citrus. I picked up a bottle of 360 vodka so I hand juiced a good amount of grapefruit and cara cara, hamlin, navel, and blood oranges.  It was the first time in over a year that I had consumed an alcoholic beverage that wasn't a micro brew. It was good. The company was excellent, and the conversations were inspiring.

Many questions about what I will do next, but I want to talk about what I've learned in these 365 days.

The first thing I learned was, actually the first thing I realized, I've come away with is a greater faith in myself. I mean I really fucking did this! In many ways it was easy, but only because of where I live, work, and play. But I learned that I can put my mind to something and really do it. There is some discipline in this old gal after all. So maybe I am ready to take on a Spanish course.

I have a much deeper connection to my food sources then ever before. As a vegan with an ethical stance on what my food is not, I've develop a great awareness of what i do not want in my foods. But what about what my food is in? What happens after I've consumed the food? What is the whole picture of consumption? This whole year has brought the attention I've paid over the years to the land, water, air, plants, animals, social justice, human rights, self care, and community all into one package... well un-packaged it all right in front of me actually.

My body feels better than it ever has... mostly. This was a rough year on my old bones. I have spent most of my life relatively injury free... eerily so considering how active I usually am. But this year 2 bike crashes have left me with long weeks of healing up and moving slow. I gave up going to the gym this year for some odd reason, I just couldn't bring myself to go inside to workout. That being said, my body feels leaner and stronger than ever. I consumed way more beer and coffee than I normally would because they were the best choices wherever I was. I explored teas that I normally wouldn't have tried. My food became ever more simple. And my body is feeling great. My mind is clear. And my heart... My heart feels full and open.

I can understand the mind and body, but the heart... Maybe it is the lack of preservatives. Maybe it was the last bike fall that really jarred that part of my ribs. Perhaps I have been able to just open myself up more lately in general and this was just the natural outcome? I like to think that as our foods become "cleaner" and with less harm, it is going to have some kind of effect on those of us that consume it. Perhaps it is that community has become something that has infiltrated my being to its very core.

Without community and friends to support me and give me reasons to try new things I wouldn't have wanted to do this. Without a community of farmers around me, I wonder how much I would be inspired to eat food that had the fewest steps between them and me. And this continues to be my passion. The fewest interruptions between the farmer and me.

Flying Onion Farm... every week I get some of my food from this amazing farm

I was recently introduced to the NPR show On Being. The first episode I listened to was on Grace Lee Boggs. And this 96 year old woman rocked my world in every way. I encourage people to listen at least to the podcast... its the one on Detroit. In fact that entire section Becoming Detroit is inspiring. Detroit has been dealing with the Global economic crisis for 30 years. We have a lot to learn from a community that created movement by building communities and working together; knowing that government is NOT the answer. Government/jobs are NOT the solution. Our imagination, our creativity to solving daily challenges (like food and housing), finding what is possible within ourselves is where we need to look.

There are some phrases I heard during the many podcasts I listened to that I'm trying to figure out how to turn them into actions: "revolution of values" "to name to create to claim" (this one is actually in my notes and I think it is a mixture of everything I've been reading, thinking, hearing), and "we traded quality of life for making a living", I don't think it was making a living but something like that.

So these are the things running amok in my mind when people ask me if I'll go back, or if I will stay on this path. My answer is... Mostly I will stay on this path. I can't imagine going back to boxed food. This week I really wanted to go to a movie, so I stopped into a local theater. The smell of popcorn got to me, so I ordered popcorn and a soda for the first time. Normally I just get a pint of beer and call it good (beer comes in reusable cups and sodas do not). I felt like shit! From now on, its back to bringing my own popcorn (Portlanders, have you tried that new white popcorn that we have? it is amazingly light and fluffy!) and having a micro brew, or nothing at all.

To be honest, I miss burritos. It may be the only food I truly missed and this weekend its burrito reintegration.

What will I do next? That is a big question and I do not have an answer, but I am open to the possibilities and the challenges.

I will keep doing a blog, but I don't know if I will make a new one or just keep going with this one.

I really want to thank so many people who never once thought what I was doing was crazy, or ridiculous, or pointless. Not one person around me discourage me or challenged me in a negative way! Instead what I received was so much support, great gatherings, pep talks, creative solutions, and so much willingness to go along on this journey with me. What a fortunate person I have to have all of you around me, and I hope I support you in your personal challenges as well.

Its amazing what we receive when we give up garbage.