It All Starts With A Question

No matter the perspective from space, the world is mostly blue, mostly ocean. The ocean is what supports life on the land. It give us the majority of the oxygen we breath. It absorbs most of the carbon dioxide released. One recent statistic that I can not get out of my mind: no matter where we live on earth, one in five of our breaths is from one type of plankton. Just one type.

Remarkably, in the environmental movement, little attention is given to the ocean. The vegan community speaks a little on the atrocities perpetrated on whales, sharks, dolphins, by-catch... What about the fact that 90% of the large fish are now gone... forever.

Most of science will tell us that life came from the ocean. It also tells us that the salinity of our bodies is remarkably similar to the ocean. Yet we, us, humans, constantly show a lack of respect for our life support system. We take all that we can from the seas and we return waste that we don't want to have to deal with. There are floating islands all over the ocean, twice the size of Texas or more, that are made out of plastic. The top 10 list of pollution found in the seas: number 1 is cigarette butts; the following 9 are all food and beverage related from a culture of over consumption of disposable/single use items. That is before we get into the barrels of nuclear waste, or the results of wars at sea, oil spills...

If you watched the video of Sylvia Earle from the last post, you know what I'm getting at. Since then I've also been reading "The Sea Around Us" by Rachel Carson. Written 10 years before "Silent Spring". It was the number 1 non-fiction book of 1951, and just as poetic as anything else she has written. It starts with a brief history of the evolution of our blue planet, describes the 4 seasons of the seas, and just keeps going.

Oregon Coast

Our world has changed quickly since her observations, and so has our knowledge about our behavior's effects on these forests in the ocean. We know it will never be sustainable to harvest 50, 100, 200 year old fish, but we still do it. We know that the precious Omega oils that we crave are not in the cold water fish, but in the DHA from the plankton those fish eat, so why not eat the plankton (spiralina and other blue-green algae) instead of those fish, or fish oils.

We have more knowledge, more answers than we have ever had before... so maybe it isn't answers we should be searching for, but questions. For what we need is not more answers, but changed behavior. We need people to not consume those things that give us life; from the mussels that filter the ocean water to the Orange Ruffy that feed even larger fish. What changes behavior?

Well for me, it always starts with questions. Why do I do_________. I became vegan because I started asking questions. In changing what I ate, I didn't solve any problem or find any answers, but created more questions that led to more changes in how I move through the world, leading to more questions, etc.

The world is dynamic. Always changing. Its a lot like riding a bike. After riding for some time, we don't notice all the little adjustments we make, even on the shortest rides, to keep from falling over, but they are there. Nature does the same. Not enough food in an area, the animals don't have as many off spring. For some reason, humans don't get this.

I'm not worried about the world coming to an end. I am deeply concerned about the violence and suffering that a small percentage of humans (actually) on the rest of other humans, plants, animals, and all of nature; however, the world will survive. It knows how to balance it's self. Humans may not make it; we may be responsible for our own extinction. If we, as a species and individuals, wish to continue, we need to change some things.

So lets hear from my favorite teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh: "It is possible that the next Buddha will not take the form of an individual.  The next Buddha may take the form of a community-a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living.  This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the Earth".

So where to start? Step outside. Take a deep breath. Ask "Where did that breath come from? Where will my breath go?" Next time you eat anything ask, "Where did that come from? Who made/grew/packaged/planted/harvested/drove/tended/etc it?" Talk to your neighbors. See if they are asking the same questions you are. Ask about their experiences. Learn together. Share Food. Bike together. And keep asking questions. You'll be amazed at just how empowering taking your own action can be. It can be even more empowering when we do this as a community.

I still want to dive into the lessons of Sylvia Earle and others that are in love with the sea, but first I want to explore what it is that we are searching for. Answers? Actions? Support? Community? For I believe that we love this world deeply, and fiercely. And to love something so much, we must do those things that are hard. We must examine how we are complacent in the harming of what and who we love. We must be willing to face the pain we have caused. We must be willing to stand up to those who continue to bring harm to what we love. We can do it with compassion, but we can not do it if we are complacent.

Farm Tours + Rivers = Inspiration

So much to catch up on, but lets start with what has been a great catalyst for a many thoughts lately.

This vacation started with our annual farm tour. This year we changed things a bit and focused on size and distribution, you know, what does it take to feed lots of people good food.

Wintergreen Farms

kinda says it all

We started at Wintergreen Farm, renown for its Burdock Root! The farm is owned by 3 families and covers 170 acres of land that is either owned or leased. 20 of those acres are dedicated to mixed veggies and berries and such for their CSA, 90 acres is for cattle, and the remaining is all about habitat for wetlands, trees, and birds.

They aren't just organic, but biodynamic. Being biodynamic is about the only things that makes me feel somewhat ok that they also grow and harvest pasture fed cows, in other words they sell meat as well as vegetables. However, by being bio-dynamic they use everything on the farm to feed and nurture what they grow. By they way, their burdock isn't just a personal favorite. We learned at OGC (the organic distribution center that we went to later) that they have orders for this delicious root from as far a Japan!

Our next stop was OGC (Organically Grown Company). We get a great deal of our produce at the co-op from them. We checked out one of their warehouses and heard a great little talk from their operations manager. He focused on their sustainability goals. Some of the things they are excited about is a new type of door where they pull a string and this door quickly rolls up and down. This added with a bit of a vacuum pressure to keep the curtain door closed, it become much more efficient for them to come and go from the walk-in cooler. Most of the doors used in the industry are more of a thick plastic curtain type thing. We also learned that they have the 3^rd most efficient semi-truck in the nation. Supposedly there are hundreds of choices when you order such a vehicle and they all have some kind of effect on their fuel efficiency.

super efficient cooler door

proudly hung Beehive Collective print!!

where does it all go?

Other things that they are trying to do is decrease the number of cardboard, or really bad boxes that are used to haul produce. So they are looking at some kind of re-usable tote type containers. They also want to replace pallets with something more efficient. It seems that something like 90% of the hardwood harvested goes to making pallets! I had no idea. So they have a company across the road that rebuilds falling apart pallets until they are able to come up with some kind of alternative.

OGC does many good things for its community. Things like donating to Food not Bombs, paying employees to volunteer, and having a domestic fair trade policy. All of this while trying to keep margins low so that organic food is as affordable as possible for the final diner.

Our final farm on the tour was Ground Works, also known as Plastic Works. Its a pretty big farm. He couldn't really give us a clear idea of how many acres of land he has, and he had just acquired another farm across the way, and it is all owned by one family. It was here that reality hit on the scale of organic farms if we let it become more and more like the size of conventional farms. The 2^nd thing I noticed was the red headed head of the farm surrounded by the brown skinned men that were doing the work in the “fields”. I've heard that they make fairly good wages for farm work, they aren't exposed to super toxic chemicals like at conventional farms, and they get 1 to 2 weeks vacation a year.

The first thing I noticed was why they are nicknamed Plastic Works. It was the rows and rows of hoop houses, and right next to the bus, were rolls and rolls of plastic. The reason many farms, and Ground Works was the leader in this in our neck of the farm woods, are using these plastic hoop houses is to get a jump start on what they can sell at farmers markets and such. The theory is that you want to get customers hooked on your product first and cultivate the loyalty one depends upon.

Previously I'd only really heard of people using hoop houses to extend the growing season, and to get seedlings started stronger sooner. Now its being used for more, and more farms are having to do the same to be able to compete with Ground Works at the markets. And Ground Works is at almost all the Farmers Markets in the area, as well as selling to many natural food stores as well.

I left Ground Works feeling kinda gross and sad. Compared to Wintergreen, this last farm did not feel alive and connected. There was no compost pile, or bucket for the stems of the strawberries he shared with us. Where one nuclear family owned this last farm with several employees, there could have been multiple farmers owning and working the land. Maybe I've been working in a collective co-op too long, but it saddens me to see people working really freaking hard (farm work is hard) making minimum wages, no benefits, and no say in what is happening in their working environment, when there could be a more democratic way.

I'm not naive, I know that feeding huge amounts of people “organic” food takes a great deal of farm land. I just don't believe that single families running so much acreage is the answer....

Something that should be added, because of their growing practices at Groundwork, they are able to grow some ginger and lemongrass that normally comes from very very far away, so maybe some plastic vs. transportation is a better choice?

And I left town with my backpack with these thoughts in my head. My goal was to explore some day hikes I'd been wanting to do, and just car camp. Usually I try to do a long backpacking trip and get far from civilization, but I have had a rough couple of months and wanted to simplify. Just a week or so out from my vacation, I had found out that some of my family members where having health issues, all of them could be traced back to diets rich in fats and sugar while weak in nutrients. As someone very focused on nutrition, it is very difficult for me to watch people I love make really dangerous food choices.

My first stop was Silver Falls State Park and the trail of 10 falls. I'd heard a great deal of Silver Falls and was looking forward to the hike, the peace, the quiet contemplation of the great out of doors. The falls were anything but quiet. They were amazing and loud and oh so powerful! You get to walk behind at least 3 of them. There is something special about being able to walk behind waterfalls that makes me feel so very safe, secure, nurtured... like a return to the womb or something.

sneaking up on a waterfall

steamy, foggy morning

view from behind the south fall

The area's protection was fought for by a photographer, June Drake. He used his camera and passion for the land as an activist to convince people to keep the land unharmed. It is a reminder that we can use whatever skills and talents we have to save and protect our world. This notion of activism comes up again later.

From here I went to the Matolious River, and fell in love. The river is magical. I ended up spending 2 nights here instead of one. The original idea was one night here and 2 nights at the McKenzie river, but I just felt so good at this campsite and the view feel of the river.

the butt biting chipmunk that kept me company

this river is magical

and blue

First to get to the trail head, you have to drive way off the main 2 lane highway to get there, and then a bit on an old dirt road. The campsites (of which there are only 7) are simple and self serve. In other words there is no camp host, showers, or flush toilets... it was all so simple and sweet.

The trail it's self is not only about 5 miles out and back. That's 2 ½ miles to a fish hatchery that I never walked all the way to. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and to watch all the cheating fishers just hanging right there taking life by surprise/demise.

Instead I stopped just before at a super amazing spot and ate my lunch while starring off at the bluest blue river I had ever seen (up to that point). I swear, if I could find tattoo ink that color of blue, by whole body would be covered in river. So there I was eating lunch and gazing at the river when I just happened to look up and over at a deer who just happened to be eating also, and decided to look around at exactly the same time. Both of us startled just looked at one another for spell until the doe just walked away. It was so exhilarating I could hardly stand it, so I just smiled and thought that I must finally be smelling like nature to have surprised a deer.

wading in to get water

I explored the river a little more around the campsites and found some amazing places to just sit, nap, write, and listen to dharma talks. Listening to Thich Nhat Hahn is always special, but to be sitting by a river while he is talking about interrelatedness and how live is like a river was extra motivating to do sitting practice. I was also inspired to go for some runs on the trails after hiking them. Each new pass on the same trails, I spotted something new from plants to fish jumping.

As for the water.... it was so clean, clear, and cold that I didn't even use my water filtration system. Just stuck my water in a fast moving portion of the stream and drank it in. As it rolled down my throat I feel it course through my whole body giving it life. I found such gratitude for the life giving nourishment that water provides this world (which comes up later also), mixed with the warmth and blue sky (proof that I was out of Portland in the spring) I couldn't shake this mantra that had been playing over and over again in my head “yellow and blue makes green”. To me it means that the life giving forces of the sunlight and the water creates life on land: plants, animals, humans.

It took some kind of special force to remove me from this river, but eventually I made it to the McKenzie river, and was very happy I did. I camped closed to the blue pool trail head so that I could get up early and just walk as long as I wanted to.

This portion of the 23 mile river trail, is in old growth forest that I am use to in Oregon, but then quickly turns to lava flow. The views of the river are amazing! It too is a magical place, but I am glade that I started early. The trail quickly fills with people hiking and biking up and down the trail, so it was nice to have it mostly to myself.

When I got to the blue pool, my breath left my body. I'd seen pictures and been told that the color was majestic, but I just had no idea how this would impact me. I wanted to dive off the cliffs and have that blue water envelop me, take me in and make me a part of it... just let me dissolve and merge. Blue so blue. So alive. So awake.

that is its for real color!!!

I got back to the car, changed shoes and went for a run in the other direction on the trail with that blue stuck in my head and more of blue and life being so connected... inseparably so.

That night I was meeting some friends in Sisters to go to a film fest in Bend, so I headed to a hot spring to clean up and become presentable. I love hot springs. I love living surrounded by volcanoes so that I have so many choices.

Through the weekend, my friends took me on some hidden waterfalls, alpine lakes, and trails that took us through recent forest burns, and snow banks (it was so hot in that burned forest that laying on the snow felt so refreshing!).

I drove the long way home. I decided to forgo the Pizza Institute in Eugene for back roads that would take be by the river that I consider my home town river, the Clackamas. A river that has nearly drowned me, and spit me out into a new life shortly after I moved to Portland (but that is another story).

Sylvia Earl on her Ted prize

On the way home I listened to an interview of a woman who has changed my life. Her name is Sylvia Earle. Her motto is “no blue, no green”. She speaks of saving the oceans. Since that interview I have been trying to ingest everything I can about this woman and her work, and I encourage you to as well. I believe the next couple of posts will come relatively quickly and will be about her work. I will interpret her message from both a vegan perspective and an environmental one. Either way, her message is clear, with out the oceans there are no humans.

Peasently Vegan

seasonal pizza from the Pizza Institute in Eugene

Its been an interesting couple of months.

I learned that I can be kind of controlling? possessive? Not sure what, but living collectively and trying to eat intentionally was not working for me anymore. I'd come home form work and want to make dinner, only to find the food that I had procured was already eaten by someone else. It shouldn't be a big deal. I work in a natural foods store, and if I had known that what I wanted to eat, had already been eaten, I would have gotten more. So I decided to move.

The final 4 to 6 weeks of living in the collective house, I pretty much ate out all the time. I have never, in my current memory, felt so sluggish and gross. Its an odd feeling for me. The first meal I made in my new location was so dang good!

So I am back!

And I am thinking about food again, and being vegan, and wanting to eat good food. Local food. Hand made food. Not super fancy food, but well crafted and cared for food. What the hell does any of this mean?

There are two main concerns I have going on in my mind about where I want to go in my food search. One, for me being vegan is not a diet, but a way of life. It defines some of my ethics for how I want to live, not just eat.  Not all vegans have a healthy plant based diet. Here in Portland we have at least 3 different donut shops to get vegan donuts. Packaged junk food at your convenience.

The second concern in the way food is moving around, is the never ending search for the latest and greatest super-food from some far flung place. Most already know my rant against the coconut fad, but it is really just the target for my frustration every time I see another new food from Peru or the Himalayas. We don't live at those extreme areas of the earth, and we don't need those properties, but the people who live there do. So I want to find the  super-foods of North America. You know, the things that the people who lived here long before for the Europeans showed up and then destroyed.

The first foods that come to mind are nutritionally dense plants: nettles, burdock, blueberries, oats (rolled, straw, fresh tops), hemp (we really need to legalize this plant again for food, fuel, cloth, paper, etc).... what are yours? I look forward to adding to this list and doing more research to the foods that were of deep importance to a people that were nearly completely exterminated, but still hold a great deal of information.

I understand the draw to the super-foods, especially in Peru. When I went there a few years ago, I drank some Coca leaf tea. It was just served casually at the hostel we were meeting a friend at. It was super tasty so I drank more. Then my friends started getting altitude sickness, and I had never felt better. Later I learned that it was great for helping adjust to the altitude. I drank that tea the whole time I was there, and had so much energy! But I don't live at 11,200'. I live between 20' (the waterfront) and 550' (Mt. Tabor). It would be crazy for me to drink that tea here.

whatever the food, it should include a good fire with good friends!

So this is where peasant food comes in for me. In reading Born To Run, there is mention of eating like "poor people". Well that's not right. Eating beans and rice and greens is not about eating like poor people, its eating healthy. Its eating what is available and near. Its about peasant foods, and the foods of  "the people" is what I want to explore even more. I want to explore what this actually means, especially since it is a term being tossed around a great deal lately. I want to know the cultural diversity of peasants of the Americas vs. Europe. Knowing that many of these culture did eat some animals, what was the context for it? How was there relationship with animals and nature? Did they separate themselves the way western culture does, or was it an interrelated relationship with no difference between the two-legged and the four-legged or the winged ones, or finned?

I'm not looking to noblize (did I just make up a word) a class of people, but I am looking to learn from them while there is still some knowledge available. Lest we forget that we are in a class war right now! More and more people are falling between the cracks of access to not just health care, but food and shelter as well. More people are having to cut corners, and maybe by learning more ways from the old ways we all might be able to eat  and live a little better.

So this is where I am headed next. Please let me know if you have a favorite "peasant" food... also, perhaps known as a traditional food?

The Apocalyptic Easter Bunny

Easter has always been a holiday that confused me. As a child, I never really got what was being celebrated, and how the different occasions where connected. My memories of childhood include going to sunrise service (which in Kansas could either be amazingly spectacular mornings of brilliant sunrise colors, or deep snow) with breakfast in the church basement, at some point there was the Easter Bunny at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and then dinner at their house.

Potlucks at the church always scared the bejeezus out of me. It was almost as bad as lunch in the school cafeteria. I always felt the outsider. The food was not appetizing to me. Why couldn't we just go eat at Grandma's? To be fair, I always just wanted to get out of that building as fast as possible, and the adults always just wanted to keep talking to each other.  But on Easter, sometimes I would get to skip the service and go with "the guys" to help cook. Mostly I sat on some counter and watched Grandpa at work.

What I remember about dinner was ham and Grandma's scalloped potatoes. I really really never liked ham at all. It was, for me, simply a reason to use large amounts of horseradish (I am finding that a good many of my foods are just an  excuse to use some kind of condiment or sauce). Scalloped potatoes are the only food of Grandma's I haven't even tried to make vegan.... hers were always the best. And lets face it, Easter is not a vegan friendly holiday!

Easter egg hunts... don't get it.  The Easter Bunny gave us inferior gifts than Santa Clause, and made us go find them... then we would have to go out into the cold and find either some kind of egg product or plastic or chocolate version thereof.  And if it was a nice day, this was not the thing I wanted to be doing.

 Why do adults do this to kids... the symbolism that is. They display this big pagan ritual of fertility, and then refuse to educate kids about sex/reproduction/bunny eggs. To be honest, it just seems so very obvious how much the Christians manipulated shit to get people to follow their holidays. Where is Jesus in any of this? I'm not a religious person, but what that dude tried to teach his followers was dang good.

I don't really know what came first; the end of sunrise services, the removal of the only Reverend that I have ever enjoyed (Reverend Hahn and his wife were from Brazil and truly held a firm foundation of welcoming to that community), or my choice to end going to church altogether(I think I was around 12). But I think it feeds some of my confusion on religion in general.  Its a merging of many spiritual practices without much recognition of each other. Kinda like the coming Apocalypse!

Hang in there with me for a moment.

I have been bombarded the past several weeks with people inquiring about how I was personally preparing for the apocalypse. I usually want to ask which one and laugh it off, yet people are super serious when they ask this question. They want to know how I'm storing food, water, shelter, and how i am planning on protecting those resources: guns, guns! They want to know if I have guns. They obviously do not know me... no guns... ever.


And maybe this is where we should introduce some definitions of apocalypse. It can refer to some kind of end of the world scenario, or from the Greeks it can mean "lifting of the veil" or "revelation". According to Wikipedia,  it "is a disclosure of something hidden from the majority of mankind in an era dominated by falsehood and misconception."

Well, we are certainly in an era full of falsehood and misconception... how can we end it? Can lifting the veil and revealing the lies bring an end to this time and allow us to move forward into a different way of being? Or are is about finding our Buddhist nature?

I always felt that it was my lack of faith; my inability to believe that there is an Easter Bunny, that Jesus died for our sins and then came back 3 days later to haunt us, and that colored eggs had anything to do with any of it, that led to me "leaving the church". I do  think Easter sort of led to my inability to believe anything the church taught. This inability to believe continues into my belief in an apocalyptic scenario. Then I heard a woman speak, just this week, and claim that religions are not based on belief, but on action.... And it hit me, well kind of a gentle slap, maybe I'm not so jaded. I just need to look at it from another perspective.

I take what she said to mean that people maybe follow specific religions not for what they say, because most teach a great deal of the same thing, but we are drawn to the actions they ask us to take. Most of them have specific rituals that one should follow if one is to be a good Jew, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Quaker, etc.

To tell our stories, to repeat our rituals, we create a space to commune and to heal whatever is going on for us in the moment. We have songs we sing, prayers we recite, breaths to breath, walks to take, questions to ask... and this comes back to being asked how am I preparing for the Apocalypse. If we can do this, take action, tell the stories our way, we can redefine it. Maybe not be so afraid of the changes that are coming, apocalypse or not.

See, I don't know if I believe in "The Apocalypse". The majority of the scenarios are very similar and have existed as long as humans have existed: humans fucked up, the world ends, we get kicked out of the garden. For me, this is not about climate change, or the global economic crisis. For me, we will only "survive" if we care for one another everyday, and I can't do that if I am busy making sure that I have enough water, food, shelter, protection, weapons, skill, etc only for myself. However, if as a community we can come together we will be able to "survive" together whatever comes our way.

I'm not blind, or in denial, or looking through rose colored glasses; I just don't know what is going to happen. I don't believe in a "happy ever after forever" story (just ask any of me ex's). I also don't think humans will be the last species standing when the sun decides to go out. And I am not too concerned about that. I'm more in the camp of "who is hungry today? Who is thirsty, in pain, in need?"

I do believe that as the shit is hitting the fan (and I do see that is happening all over this planet), that we do need to be doing better at taking care of one another. This is not new. We do need to be taking action. We need some skills. We need to connect with one another. We can not rely on the government to rely on a non-toxic food supply and water supply. Much of what we have relied on the government to take care of, we are going to have to do for  ourselves, for each other. As we do this more and more for ourselves (meaning in our neighborhoods) we will be developing community and a movement that protects us just a little bit  more the longer we do it. An independent economic structure will emerge. Community accountability will replace the police department.  And so much more. Isn't this kind of what Jesus taught? Take care of one another?

So no, I am not preparing for the apocalypse. I am trying to build some skills to become a better member of my community, and then when 2012 does it's thing, I will be even more prepared for the next apocalyptic story.

Strawberries and Asparagus Have Shaped My Life

or reflections on spring

I heard recently that "last night was only as good as your ability to tell about it." Ok so I heard this on the Podcast I am totally hooked on right now: On Being. Kevin Kling said this in his recent interview. He talks about how he developed his storytelling abilities while growing up with a "disability". He talks about how he shapes his stories based on how people ask him about his arm (or arms since a motorcycle accident completely changed how he uses them both now). Their questions tell how they are relating to him and if they recognize him at all. That idea leads to more thoughts on how we recognize people, or do we even see people that we can not relate to?

After the motorcycle accident Kevin talked to some traffic specialist who said that friends and family members of people who ride, see riders. People who don't know anyone who rides, will not see people on motorcycles. Living in Portland I start think of all the cyclist and walkers/runners.... people not in cars or trucks or SUVs. Who sees them and who doesn't.

Then I do what I often do and go on a bit of a tangent. Who else do we not see? Do we see those who are suffering? How about those that are homeless, the person who is no longer considered unemployed because she has been out of work for so long, refugees, people of color, queers, people in wheelchairs, mental illness.... my list could keep going and growing as I am introduced to more and more people. And then I return to food.

How the heck does all this come back to food?

Well many ways actually, and I am having a tough time focusing, so excuse me if I go all over the place, I promise I will attempt to bring this back all around.

I started recognizing the food on my plate more, the more I shopped at farmers markets. Those are the farmers I recognized from some other time. Some deeper time that I vaguely remember in the deep recesses of my mind. Not the farmers that started taking over the food industry and creating monster sized crops with long perfect rows and growing food that looks strangely perfect. The kind of perfect like plastic surgery that superficially creates a beauty that actually kind of creeps my out.

So I met farmers (and continue to meet growers of food) that I recognized. Farmers that tell stories about the food that I see, recognize, and then taste. Plants/food that makes me want to learn more ways to use and preserve that food. And to share those stories, I mean food with other people.

This also pops up for me as spring is trying to win the battle with winter here in Portland. With spring comes a new chapter of food stories. I see it in the nettles growing in my backyard. The Oregon Grape starting to bloom. The asparagus and strawberries showing up in the store....WAIT! WHAT! NO! NO NO NO NO! These are 2 particularly frustrating foods to see prematurely appearing in the store. Asparagus tells about an amazing vegetable that comes up out of the darkness and greats us, in our place and location, at just the right time. And then we have to seize the moment of this food for its relatively brief presence in our gastronomic pleasure seeking selves. Its the introduction to what is to come. Its distinct flavor, shape, and diversity of colors (purple asparagus is one of my favorites) prepares our bodies and taste buds for the bounty that summer can provide. Getting it from Mexico or even S. California is not just cheating the season, its cheating ourselves. Its premature gratification.

As a kid, the 2 things that I can distinctly remember being in my Grandparents' garden is strawberries (always strawberries) and asparagus. They had many other things, but these 2 things told other stories. The asparagus held the stories of care needed and patience and understanding/misunderstanding of what tender meant. Strong thick stalks could also be tender.Small thin spears could explode with flavor.

Strawberries hold different stories all together. Stories mixed with us kids picking them, jumping over them to go play in the yard, eating dessert of strawberry shortcake.... being patient and watching them grow and change colors. Waiting for just that right moment of perfect flavor, and picking it before the birds did. It is a race that I continue to enjoy, and why I always try and have at least a pot of strawberries growing where ever I am living.

Each time, especially the first time every year, these stories come flowing back into my being, as the flavor fills my mouth. And every year I am just a little anxious about that first bite. Am I ready? The asparagus has a different issue: preparation! How am I going to prepare it? I have some favorite dishes, but the first almost always has to be simple steaming with just a little lemon juice, maybe a pinch of salt. Then I like to move on to versions of pasta dishes and experimenting.

These 2 crops I learned as demarcations to what is about to come, whether it is at the farmers market or in the garden. As soon as they appear, I feel like the possibilities for the meals to come are endless. And that is where potlucks come in.

Since I've moved to Portland, nettles have add to the repertoire of food stories. They are like the foreplay of spring. They help us detox as well as wash the palate clean of the winter and prepare my body for the coming greens. And the stories that go along with gathering nettles... where do you go and find them? How much to you like the sting? Have you tried them raw right of the stalk yet?

But what do we do with these stories about food? My favorite place and way to tell food stories are potlucks. Potlucks are the best place to share stories. You get stories of how people arrived (and later the long happy ride home/or to the river/park...), how the dish they created came to them. Sometimes it was passed down from generation to generation (not often in the vegan world however), they just made it up with what they had in the house, something they have wanted to try for a very long long time. Maybe they didn't bring anything because of some great story. The bottle of wine, or special cocktail, or tea blend, soda maker, home brew. But the one thing that they bring, that we can never do with out, is they bring themselves. The take time out of their day and share themselves with us. The story of what  they are thinking or feeling. The stories of their recent celebrations, or frustrations. The latest crush or the "fuck it, I'm staying single forEVER". Or maybe today, they are quiet and listening... maybe that is the dish they always bring, and we can't do without that either. In fact that is the one we can usually learn a great deal from.

This is one way we can learn more ways to connect with more people. We tell and listen to stories. Then maybe we have just a little pinch more of understanding and connection with someone we maybe have never truly seen before.

Where are the Edges?

Before I get started, I have to say the coffee I'm drinking at Open Spaces today might be the best name for coffee I've ever seen its Squirrel Rhapsody by the local roasters Marigold Coffee. Oh and its tasty too!

watch this video to get an idea of what this post might be about

Well, its almost been a month since I wrapped up the challenge in a not so nice and neat little package, and I am finding that the challenge has finally begun. It was so easy, actually, when I had these semi-clear guidelines, but now that it is really integrated into my life, my choice are so much more thoughtful.

Let's be clear... I've dabbled in some packaged foods. I had a pint of Peanut butter ZigZag (maybe my all time fav of vegan ice cream). It was fantastic. I savoured every creamy, chunky chocolate, frozen peanut butter bite! I've had samples at work that include chips and packaged salsa. I had a bottle of Sessions (that one was disappointing, but it did hit the spot as I was heading into the downside of a very very long shift). Then there is wine. Red wine to be exact. I did not realize how much I was going to miss this until I finally had a glass of Pacific Redwood Pinot. What a nice wine.

Then a group of us went to Seattle for our friend Sage's birthday. I had just finished a bout with food poisoning of some bizzarro nature, so I didn't drink too much. But we did get some 360 vodka, some gin, and there was some really great tonic called Q Tonic. I juiced some very very large Mellon Gold Grapefruits and played bartender.

The next day, we walked up to the Sidecar For Pigs Peace. Its a store for Pigs Peace Sanctuary. Its a place I like to support, but just have such a hard time. Like most all vegan stores (like there are so many), it is just packed full with packaged foods. Last time I picked up a t-shirt, but I really didn't need another shirt, or book (just purchased 3 more from Left-Bank Books the day before), so I picked up a little bottle of wine form the Naked Winery. It was a tasty treat as well.

That's pretty much it... I have purchased a bottle of Dijon mustard and vegan worshester sauce for a vegan Cesar Dressing mix so that my housemate, that is allergic to nuts, could actually eat this salad at a dinner party he was throwing for his son.

What has been brought to my full and upright attention, is fucking GMO.... and yes that is the appropriate f-word for them. Being back into the frey of possibly eating packaged food, I am reminded of the ambiguity of what is in our food. For a year I was focused on what my food is IN because I am really concerned about what is IN my food. The more I learn about what other countries are doing to try and keep GMOs from their food supply, the more angry I get at... at what and whom is more confusing.

I start with Monsanto... the evil fucking empire of the genetic seed world. Then I move to our government that has allowed them to run amok with, not just "our" food supply, but the supply of the world. Then I get mad at the farmers who caved to them and their seed deals (this only lasts for a split second as I remember my youth and what the farmers were facing at the time), then back to Monsanto. At some point to moves to the Marking teams that sold the US on the idea that this would create abundance for a starving planet (remember the famine in Ethiopia in the 80s). Then I get pissed at the American consumer who wanted cheap food and did not question the tasteless tomato in January. Who didn't question why, if this new super wheat was suppose to feed the world, we let it rot in the silos. Or why so much of the grains being grown wasn't for human consumption, but to feed animals (poorly) that could have fed many more people if that grain was grown for consumption by people.

Last week, my lovely farming housemates talked me into going to the monthly event called InFARMation. Its put on by Friends of Family Farms. The conversation was focused on GMOs and featured 2 farmers and the person who wrote the book Food Fray. I learned a great deal about what local farmers are facing, and I plan to write more on the gravity of GMOs especially in the Willamette Valley, but right now I want to talk about consumer responsibility (psst it is democracy in action).

I learned that one of the key things keeping the Wheat in Oregon and Washington, if not organic at least not GMO, is that Japan is one of biggest buyers (i.e. they spend the most money) of  our wheat and they do not, or have not allowed GMOs into their country that is a little island. This is changing however, because they are now allowing GMO papaya this year, and so there is fear that this could lead to them allowing further GMOs in. And in the wake of their really bad year last year with a tsunami and nuclear meltdown...

So I'm not angry with Japan for opening up to GMO, (sad but not angry), I'm pissed to no end that it is other countries' money that is keeping our wheat organic and not us! Size wise we are a very massive county, and we can not save our own food supply! Why are we so complacent? This is what makes me so....MAD that I can't even think of a word, curse or otherwise, that describes my level of anger that is so high it makes me soooo sad. Is there a word for that emotion? Anger so large that creates sadness? Or is it sadness mixed with hopeless despair that I creates an anger so deep?....

Well of that I don't know, but I might have found some answers in what I've been reading and listening to these days. First, a podcast/radio show called ON Being. I think I mentioned it before. And because of it I've been reading Beauty by John O'Donohue. And I believe that beauty may be our greatest "weapon" against despair, violence, glamour, and meritocracy. But even more so was an interview of Tim DeChristopher in Orion magazine.

At the beginning of the interview they talk about something Breyten Breytenbach who said, " You Americans, you've mastered the art of living with the unacceptable." And I believe it is true. We, as Americans have spent decades accepting what is unacceptable by most sane people that are interested in long term survival of ALL. Not short term gratification that brings us a very false sense of security. When Breyten (who spent time in prison in South Africa while fighting the apartheid) was asked what to do, he responded with, "Support people on the margins."

Tim's story essentially supports this (Tim's and all the other political prisoners in this country that have wrestled up the courage to fight the corporate power structure that is our government to free the animals, wilderness, and people that are oppressed by capitalism). The one very clear thing I remember learning in the Permaculture course I took was that change happens on the edges, on the margins, where things are bluring together. The forest doesn't just suddenly become meadow. You don't take one small step out of the tall grass prairie and suddenly stumble onto the desert.

We need to know what we stand for, not what we stand against. Then we need to find the very edge, not the center of compromise, and push in. We need to make people a little uncomfortable. Not the kind of uncomfortable that makes them shut down, but the kind that makes them think, feel, and act.

Can we get people to see past the glamour and shininess of the media machines to see the beauty of simple? That maybe a walk with friends and family just might be much more beautiful than watching TV on a big screen with surround sound speakers.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having nice things, but I am saying that it is difficult to see the mountains, sunset, birds, clouds, when we are vegged out. That I have never made any changes in my life while I was comfortably seated on the throne of complacency and entitled privilege.

What do you care about? What will makes you want to take action? Nothing will change as long as we are complacent... tolerant.... passive.... everyday acts are important and just as vital as direct action in the streets. I do understand the personal dangers of going against the stream. The looks that "friends" give when you do something  counter to the status quo. Those risks are the first steps to facing down the powers of Monsanto, Nestle, Fox, political parties that like to keep us divided, the marking teams that tell us we will be sexy if we use their products. I've got some news for you... Sexy is knowing who you are and what you stand FOR.

And That's A Wrap Folks

laughing into the sunset with friends at The Bye and Bye

As of January 28th, the one year experiment is over. I managed to turn 44 and complete a whole year of not eating packaged food or beverages (except for a 4 day timeout during a difficult trip to the mid-west).

I/we celebrated on the 29th with a brunch at the house. I wanted to have actually completed the full round before celebrating. Brunch was good. I finally managed to make some "field roast" sausages, and to my surprise they were damn good and easy to make! If you want to make your own check out the recipe on Post Punk Kitchen. There is also a link to an amazing amount of varieties. I really want to make a super spicy batch for some Italian dinner night to come soon.

There was also an amazing amount of citrus. I picked up a bottle of 360 vodka so I hand juiced a good amount of grapefruit and cara cara, hamlin, navel, and blood oranges.  It was the first time in over a year that I had consumed an alcoholic beverage that wasn't a micro brew. It was good. The company was excellent, and the conversations were inspiring.

Many questions about what I will do next, but I want to talk about what I've learned in these 365 days.

The first thing I learned was, actually the first thing I realized, I've come away with is a greater faith in myself. I mean I really fucking did this! In many ways it was easy, but only because of where I live, work, and play. But I learned that I can put my mind to something and really do it. There is some discipline in this old gal after all. So maybe I am ready to take on a Spanish course.

I have a much deeper connection to my food sources then ever before. As a vegan with an ethical stance on what my food is not, I've develop a great awareness of what i do not want in my foods. But what about what my food is in? What happens after I've consumed the food? What is the whole picture of consumption? This whole year has brought the attention I've paid over the years to the land, water, air, plants, animals, social justice, human rights, self care, and community all into one package... well un-packaged it all right in front of me actually.

My body feels better than it ever has... mostly. This was a rough year on my old bones. I have spent most of my life relatively injury free... eerily so considering how active I usually am. But this year 2 bike crashes have left me with long weeks of healing up and moving slow. I gave up going to the gym this year for some odd reason, I just couldn't bring myself to go inside to workout. That being said, my body feels leaner and stronger than ever. I consumed way more beer and coffee than I normally would because they were the best choices wherever I was. I explored teas that I normally wouldn't have tried. My food became ever more simple. And my body is feeling great. My mind is clear. And my heart... My heart feels full and open.

I can understand the mind and body, but the heart... Maybe it is the lack of preservatives. Maybe it was the last bike fall that really jarred that part of my ribs. Perhaps I have been able to just open myself up more lately in general and this was just the natural outcome? I like to think that as our foods become "cleaner" and with less harm, it is going to have some kind of effect on those of us that consume it. Perhaps it is that community has become something that has infiltrated my being to its very core.

Without community and friends to support me and give me reasons to try new things I wouldn't have wanted to do this. Without a community of farmers around me, I wonder how much I would be inspired to eat food that had the fewest steps between them and me. And this continues to be my passion. The fewest interruptions between the farmer and me.

Flying Onion Farm... every week I get some of my food from this amazing farm

I was recently introduced to the NPR show On Being. The first episode I listened to was on Grace Lee Boggs. And this 96 year old woman rocked my world in every way. I encourage people to listen at least to the podcast... its the one on Detroit. In fact that entire section Becoming Detroit is inspiring. Detroit has been dealing with the Global economic crisis for 30 years. We have a lot to learn from a community that created movement by building communities and working together; knowing that government is NOT the answer. Government/jobs are NOT the solution. Our imagination, our creativity to solving daily challenges (like food and housing), finding what is possible within ourselves is where we need to look.

There are some phrases I heard during the many podcasts I listened to that I'm trying to figure out how to turn them into actions: "revolution of values" "to name to create to claim" (this one is actually in my notes and I think it is a mixture of everything I've been reading, thinking, hearing), and "we traded quality of life for making a living", I don't think it was making a living but something like that.

So these are the things running amok in my mind when people ask me if I'll go back, or if I will stay on this path. My answer is... Mostly I will stay on this path. I can't imagine going back to boxed food. This week I really wanted to go to a movie, so I stopped into a local theater. The smell of popcorn got to me, so I ordered popcorn and a soda for the first time. Normally I just get a pint of beer and call it good (beer comes in reusable cups and sodas do not). I felt like shit! From now on, its back to bringing my own popcorn (Portlanders, have you tried that new white popcorn that we have? it is amazingly light and fluffy!) and having a micro brew, or nothing at all.

To be honest, I miss burritos. It may be the only food I truly missed and this weekend its burrito reintegration.

What will I do next? That is a big question and I do not have an answer, but I am open to the possibilities and the challenges.

I will keep doing a blog, but I don't know if I will make a new one or just keep going with this one.

I really want to thank so many people who never once thought what I was doing was crazy, or ridiculous, or pointless. Not one person around me discourage me or challenged me in a negative way! Instead what I received was so much support, great gatherings, pep talks, creative solutions, and so much willingness to go along on this journey with me. What a fortunate person I have to have all of you around me, and I hope I support you in your personal challenges as well.

Its amazing what we receive when we give up garbage.